first christmas

Well this is our first Christmas without Nathan (I wish I had some more pic of earlier christmas's to add maybe next year I'll get some on here) and his first Christmas in heaven I'm sure he's having the best Christmas ever. But it sure makes you miss him even more than you already do. Nathan loved Christmas and snowmen he would go around and say things like HO HO HO merry Christmas, or singing jingle bells. I really miss the way his belly would jiggle with every laugh it's hard to buy Christmas and hang stocking and all the while wonder what you are going to do to not let him be forgotten of left out. Last year Nathan was so sick and so tired his little body was just so worn out.. If I could have one Christmas wish it would be to have a moment with him beyond the veil so I could see my healthy Nathan and be able to talk to him for only a moment I would also want to kiss and hug him the bad part of my wish is I would probably never want to leave and I don't think James would appreciate me leaving him with all the kids and stress alone I do feel so honored to have been his mother because Heavenly father thought enough of my abilities to send me not only one but two of his most choice and perfect spirit children now if I can only learn what I'm supposed to and do a good job then it will be worth it when I get to be with my family for eternity. I love you Nathan and miss you so much and can't wait until the day that our family is together again.