Nathan

It will be a year ago on Sunday that my sweet little Nathan passed away. This year has been our year of firsts that have come way to fast. It seems like only yesterday that I was holding you and taking care of all your needs. I miss you everyday. I think back to the times when Nathan was laughing and smiling especially when he was fishing or camping. It's amazing to me how quickly time flew by. I wish for just a moment that I could get a glimpse into heaven and be able to watch you play and not fall or playing baseball which you loved without my help I would just watch from the sidelines and stare at you with wonder and joy that you were no longer in pain and that you were free from all that hunters kept you bound with. Then I would listen to your laughter that I so long to hear and wait for the recognition and hear those words that always followed when I came to get you from school Belissa belissa belissa. sometimes I would go get him just to see how excited he would get as he came to me on a dead run. I would then pick you up and just hold you and smell your hair touch your hands and give you the biggest hug and kisses ever. And as my little glimpse into heaven would undoubtedly come to and end I would tell you how much I love you and how proud I am of all your accomplishments and that I would do everything in my power to be with you again. Words can not describe the amount that I miss this little boy. And even through his passing he is still teaching me and my family so much it doesn't seem like a day goes by that I don't realize something new that I learned through my experiences with Nathan some of these lesson I have thought of before but then Nathans passing and life puts a whole new spin on things. When I am feeling down it never ceases to amaze me the tender mercies that I am blessed to experience whether its just the sense of Nathans presence around me or the first flower of spring that reminds me of new life and reminds me that he is better and that I'm going to be o.k. I am so glad that I have a testimony of eternal families and the gospel that I know there is life after death and although this life seems like it last forever and it will be forever before I get to see him again that in all reality I will get to see him again and that this life is just a blip in the eternal scheme of things. But I have also felt that we don't ever know what life will bring our way or when we will be called back home so we need to make sure that we've done what we were supposed to do here on earth before it's to late... I LOVE YOU NATHAN